I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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