:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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