OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
