Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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