When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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