I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
