why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
