My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
