He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The struggles of a small town man whore
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
