and i looked up. we had an audience...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
