i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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