Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
