I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
