just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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