Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
