Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
