very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize