So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
