whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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