Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
