i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
