UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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