he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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