Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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