We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
