Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
