My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
