Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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