So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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