Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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