Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize