I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
