I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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