Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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