Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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