My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
