she looked like the bat from fern gully.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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