He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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