Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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