I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
