8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm both gender and math confused
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
