please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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