we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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