dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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