true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
