Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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