"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
