seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
