i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
