Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
